Sometimes therapy can be touchy-feely.
A lot of times that is what you need.
And sometimes it is helpful to take an exploratory approach.
Absolutely, you will have the opportunity to discuss your thoughts and actions and sit in the discomfort of your negative emotions. But also, we will use science and personality theories to help you understand why you have the thoughts and habits you do.
And, we will use that insight to help you increase your awareness, define what growth means for you, and develop trust in your decisions.
You get to decide what you want to do about the things you learn.
I’ll ask the curious questions, provide nonjudgmental space for you to explore them, and then support you with what it means for you moving forward.
Tools we can use
Family History
Families are the products of the cultures that weave them and culture the product of a wealth of history. Family bestow strength and frailties in collection of moments made over a lifetime. Family may not determine our destiny, but the interconnected experiences within a family system shape us as individuals. The family tree contains the roots of our sense of self, sense of others, and sense of what the meaning of it all is. Clarification of how your system works can give context and courage to define your identity as it is has been shaped by the emotional, social, and spiritual culture.
Enneagram
If you have ever heard a person describe themselves by a number and then move on in conversation assuming you now know the full essence of who they are, you have encountered the enthusiasm of the enneagram tool. I’m not going to lie, I have the enthusiasm too. Mostly because there are few things more powerful than understanding your motivations, intensions, and fears in a way that directs you toward individualized growth. No one can tell you what type you are which means you are responsible for developing the deeper understanding of your internal patterns. How could using this tool in therapy not be a good idea?
Core Values
What directs your priorities, pet peeves, and acquisition of beliefs? Core values are our personal fundamental driving forces. Often we build structures and patterns in our lives to uphold and honor our values. But surprisingly, a lot of us do not ever take the time to define and name them. Is your priority of family a value of leadership…, legacy…, or being needed? Is your need to be liked a value of safety…, connection…, or meaning? Knowing what your core values are can make the difference between anxiously anticipating outcomes and intentionally living into them.
Shadow work
Exploring sides of yourself that you've exiled or repressed… That “dark side” is the parts of us we try to out run or hide. But doing this just means you don’t ever get to invite it into the light. Shadow work is a practice of healing and self growth that asks you to suspend judgment on yourself. Instead of attacking everything that you don't want to think, feel, or address, go into this process with an attitude of compassion for yourself and your experiences. Bring your shadow closer; it is a part of you after all. More kindness towards yourself might change you more than you think.
“THE CURIOUS PARADOX IS THAT
WHEN I ACCEPT MYSELF JUST AS I AM,
THEN I CHANGE”